Situational Personality

I've been thinking about my personality a lot. Partly because all of my communication classes are having my analyze myself all the time. Partly because I know I have struggles that I need to improve on. I definitely struggle with being assertive, and I have a tendency to people please. All. day. long.

Therefore, I find it hilarious, and encouraging (in a sense) to see the way I act while I am shooting, especially at weddings. I am bossy. I am loud. I take charge, and I don't really care what others think about me.

The last wedding I did, I had a helper with me who was just shadowing. Kristin was awesome. Seriously, the best! I don't know what I would have done without her! But she took some photos of me shooting, and I just find them hilarious.

photo by Kristin

Photo by Kristin

Photo by Kristin

I thought I might lose my voice on Friday due to talking and yelling so much. Sorry to anyone who thought I was too assertive ;)


Also, posted the last two weddings on my other site.

Happy Tuesday!

Secrets

Can I tell you a little secret? I really, really don't like to edit photos. I love getting out there, meeting new people, and being creative... but when it comes to sorting through and editing photos, and posting them online, and getting them on a CD for my clients... (I hope you like run on sentences, because that was a major one) I don't really like it. I actually just dread it for the most part.
 I love the idea of editing photos. I love the thought of getting a cup of coffee and sitting at my computer and editing photos, but when I actually do it, it really isn't all that enjoyable.
Honestly, I hate to admit it. The only reason I edit photos, is because I have to. The only thing that makes me feel better about it, is that I highly doubt there are many people who love every aspect about their job. Most people make it through the tedious times, and the things they dread, because there is an aspect of it that they appreciate (even if it is just the pay check).

You all should tell me one thing you don't like about your job, and one thing you love!

Anyway, that said... I just posted about four shoots on my website. So, go here to check them out!

Week 2/52

Here's a picture from week two!

We had gone to the middle of the world museum that morning, and were all somewhat tired, and just lounging around that afternoon when my dad comes home from work, and says, "Christina, can you take a family picture?! One of our supporting churches has been asking for one, and I just remembered that I told them we'd get them one by tomorrow."

And that started the craziness. I get very annoyed if people don't put thought into what they wear in photos, and I can't stand it when there are patterns or colors that clash. So, I became bossy and told my whole family that they had to match if I were going to do this. After that ensued a bunch of whining, changing shirts, and yells from upstairs to downstairs about what to wear. Finally we made it outside (even my mom with her sprained ankle) and we started taking a few pictures. I took quite a few pictures, but almost every one, someone is not looking, or is making a funny face.

This picture isn't perfect. But I love it, and I'm already missing my family a lot!

We almost always will take some pictures on this bridge. We've been doing it practically our whole lives. 

Me and my siblings when I was 12

Pretty sure I've posted this on my blog before, but I can't find it, and it never hurts to post again. 

It's so sad to see all the trees that have been cut down, but the upside is that you can see all the lights in the city below at night. 

Photography Insights

I've had a lot of "photography" on my mind lately. The majority of last semester, I had been stressing, and complaining, and wondering why I ever said yes to four different brides, to do four different weddings this semester. I just knew there was so much I didn't know. I knew there were so many ways that I might possibly mess up, and I knew I didn't have the money to get the equipment that I thought I needed.

Furthermore, starting in September/October, I got a photographer's block. Sadly, that's when I started booking a bunch of shoots. I had a newborn shoot, three engagement shoots, and a family shoot. The problem is, every time I went to the shoots, I just wasn't feeling it. This is actually hard for me to say, because I know there's a huge possibility that I have clients who read my blog, and it's hard for me to let down, and just let everyone know, I don't know as much about photography as I might seem. I mess up constantly, and a lot of times I just pretend to know things.

All of that said, I got caught up in a mindset of, "I am not a good photographer." I can't even tell you how many times I thought this in the last semester, because I thought it so much. Now, I look back at that, and it really just makes my heart ache. It makes me sad about how hard I was on myself. And it makes me sad because of the amount of joy that it took away from photography for me.

All that just leads up to say, I stressed majorly over the wedding I had last Sunday. I basically felt like the whole world was on my shoulders, and if I messed up, we were doomed. I would go to bed at night, and be kept up for hours because I would worry about the wedding. It was unhealthy, and not needed.

The thing about the wedding though, was I feel like it got me out of my slump. It made me realize that I have unrealistic expectations of myself. I know I am not as good as some photographers. Anyone can easily see that. I can see that. The problem is that I compare myself to photographers who have been doing it for YEARS. These are people who have an entire education in art or photography, and they have had many years to build their portfolio, and have had time to gain experience. The thing is, they too had to learn from their mistakes. I've been working on my photography for under two years, all while going to school for a different degree, and working 2-3 jobs at a time. Yes, I do wish I had more time to study photography, and to read about it, and to practice it, but I don't. This is where I am in life, and I accept that.

That said, I think I need to be careful at how much I focus on other people's work. It's so easy to get caught up in the pattern of thinking, "well those photographers are so good, and I'll never be that good." But that's a pointless mindset to get caught up in.

Another thing I realized with this wedding, was that I appreciate my pictures a lot more when I think about the fact that if someone did the same pictures for me, I would be so happy with them. I would love that someone captured those special moments for me.

The last thing that this wedding did for me, was that it reminded me why I have always loved photography. It's because I love capturing those special moments. I loved seeing the love that this couple had for each other, and I loved that I had the opportunity to capture it. Maybe I didn't to the perfect job with lighting, or setting up the picture, but I know I captured some special moments, and that's exactly what they wanted.


--- This isn't a post at all to say that I am better than anyone, or to bring myself down. I'm finally realizing the mistakes I made last semester, and I'm hoping not to do the same thing again (although I won't be surprised if I do). And I'm saying all of this humbly, and honestly.


Furthermore, it's the third week of January, and I'm already behind on my 52 week project. Ha. I do have the pictures though... I just haven't posted.


Anyway, here's a picture for this week, and soon I hope to post a picture for last week.

Although there are many images that I love from the wedding, this is one of my favorites. I just love the setup, and I love how it captured one of their special moments, as they snuck a kiss on the dance floor! 

Also, who likes my new watermark?!? My talented boyfriend did it, and I love how the CJ looks like a heart. That is how I will forever look at it.

2013

Hi friends!

It's been awhile! This whole past semester has been a busy one! I don't know if I've had a busier one than the one I just had. Therefore, coming to Ecuador has been such a good break for me. It's been a good break away from the computer, and a good time to grab a good book and start reading again. It's been a good time to reconnect with my family, and it's been a good time to just sleep. To be honest, I was dreading posting anything on here. I've been dreading even getting on my computer. I don't even know if I've plugged my computer in to charge it since last Sunday... a week and a half ago. Which also means, I haven't used it for more than 5 hours in the past week.

BUT, I did want to post to say Happy New Years! My New Years Eve was full of sick people and sleep. I was even in bed before midnight. Alas, it was a good getaway to a small town in Ecuador called Papallacta, and I can't complain about an abnormal New Years.

Second I want to say I do have hopes of doing a 52 week project, and I hope to take and post a picture every week. I am struggling to commit to this because this next semester seems overwhelming with FOUR weddings, but I know I am also struggling with the sense that I feel like I am not growing at all in my photography skills, and I know my 365 project is what helped me improve so much. So here's to hoping I improve even more this year! With that said, here are a few pictures from the past week.

Week 1:

David and I went parasailing! Thats me up there! 

The beach. I practically grew up here ;)

He makes me laugh. 

I heart him

A couple of my beautiful sisters!

Super heroes!

Kissing Katelyn

The family!

Naperville

Well, happy Thanksgiving to all! :) I hope your Thanksgiving was as wonderful as mine. :) Mine was filled with laughter, food, games, and so much more. Here are some pictures from the past few days!

I'm back in Chicago for an entire day and then on Tuesday I GO HOME :) I will be so happy to be home. Mostly to sleep in MY comfortable bed, and probably because David comes home on Tuesday too! It will be good :)

Chicago

Well I'm in Chicago now ( I have been for a couple days). It has been so good for me to get away. Today I head to a suburb of Chicago and will be spending a few days with some awesome friends while my sister goes to Indiana with her family.

Here are just some pictures of the last couple of days.

Happy Wednesday to all! :)