I am in awe right now as I see my business grow right before my eyes. I don't really understand it. I've received multiple emails in the past week asking me if I would photograph some very special moments for STRANGERS- these people don't even know me, and they are telling me they love my work. I don't really understand how, or why.
Just this month alone I have three photo shoots; two engagement shoots, and a newborn shoot. Two of the shoots are brand new clients. Coming up in 2013 it looks like I will have at least 3 weddings to shoot at. These people are trusting ME with one of the most important days of their life. The scary thing about weddings is that you can't repeat it if you totally mess up. I keep wondering what I can do if I mess up. What if I totally mess up someone's wedding day?
Because of this reason (and a few others) I am scared to death. I keep wondering if I jumped into this too soon, but then I think about how long I have wanted this. It's just crazy to me that it's actually happening.
This past week I have been praying for wisdom. I've been praying that I am doing the right thing, and that I make smart choices when I decide on what I should spend my money on. I am dipping into my savings to do this, and it's scary. The lens I really want is about $2,500, and although I know it's not the time to buy it, I still have to decide what I should invest in, and what I should wait for.
Thankfully I have finally stopped guilt tripping myself for only taking four classes this semester (and most likely next semester). I was feeling bad about only taking four classes (12 credits), when I knew I could take five or more and get done with school quicker. I eventually decided that it's okay to go through school a bit slower so that I can put more time and effort into this photography thing.
To get back into actively learning about photography, I am hoping to start a 52 week project at the beginning of the year. This way I will make sure to think about, and take a picture each week, which will hopefully get me to study more photography.
Just pray for me as I jump into this. It's scary, and I really don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but I'm trying to trust God, and just see where this will lead me.