Midweek Confessions

I'm just linking up with E for midweek confessions! 

- I consider this a good week just because the weather has been beautiful!

- I inwardly became very frustrated today when Max asked for lunch. It was 10:30 am, and definitely not near lunch time. And also, I know he was asking more for a snack because he was hungry, it's still exhausting to start something and never finish. This usually happens because either someone needs to be changed, someone needs to eat, or the kiddos are fighting.

- I will never be able to understand why when kids play games on something electronic, like an ipod, they have to have the sound turned up all the way. Maybe it adds to the entertainment? Either way, it's obnoxious. ;)

- Recently I had a dear friend ask me to be her bridesmaid at her wedding next summer, and I'm so excited for it now!

- I haven't read anything for entertainment since probably the beginning of April. I miss it.

- I was looking at airline tickets, and they are SO expensive. It makes me sad. There are just so many people I want to visit, but I'm not rich enough to. Someday :)

- I start my job on June 14th, and I'm actually a little bit nervous. That doesn't make any sense to me, because it's pretty much the same thing as I do now.

- I think the boys I nanny are the cutest little things. I might be a bit biased, but I adore them to pieces.

- Asher is hilarious! He will put himself to sleep anywhere. Just today he climbed up on the couch, lay down and fell asleep. So adorable. I wish I could do that.

HIS Purpose

A few weeks ago, I wrote this post.  I was so incredibly tired when I wrote that post. I was so emotionally, mentally, and physically tired. I was stressed out. 

One thing that I knew though, was that God WOULD provide.
I knew He would provide, even if it was in a crazy way that I would have never expected. 

Well, He has provided. 

I've thought for awhile about what I should write, because I don't really know what to say. 

There are so many things that God has done these past couple weeks as a way to provide for me. I can't even explain everything. 

God has not only provided financially, but He's also been the comfort that I've needed. He has given me strength when I have been weak.
I have no words right now, because I feel so undeserving. 

I do not deserve any of the good things that I have in my life, yet God is continually good. 

I know that God wants what is best for me. 

Anyway, this post was written close to 4 am on a Sunday morning. I fell asleep soon after I wrote it. The next morning I woke up around 11 and I checked my email. I had recently signed up for care.com, and had been bummed to have gotten no responses from the 10+ people I had sent messages to. While I checked my email, I realized I had a message from a lady looking for a nanny. She needed someone for 20 hours a week, during the afternoons. She needed someone to pick up her kids from day care/ school, and then take them home and care for them. She asked me if I was interested, and if so I could send her my references, and she would interview me. I replied with a definite interest, and I sent her a couple references. She then gives me her number that night and asks me to call her so that we can set up an interview. I called her the next morning, and we set up a time to meet that night.

I worked that day until close to 5, and then went home to change before the interview. That evening, I met the family, and they asked me some stereotypical interview questions, they told me they would get back to me in a week or two, and then I left. I called my mom to let her know how it went, and started crying because I didn't know what I should do. I felt as though waiting two weeks would take forever. I didn't know if I should keep looking for jobs, and take the time to interview with multiple other families, or if I should just wait. I hated that feeling of uncertainty. I went home that night incredibly bummed, because I had hoped that the interview would relieve my anxiousness. 

So, the week continued on, and on Saturday, David had his motorcycle accident. This made me stop job searching for a little while. Finally, a week later or so, since I hadn't heard anything, I decided to start looking again on care.com for some nanny jobs. At this point I had found out that Kate didn't need me nearly as much throughout the school year either, so I needed a second job anyway. So, I was looking for a part time job. Messages then started pouring in. I usually got about one message every day or every two days. I replied to a few messages that I thought would work for me, and began a dialogue with a couple of people. I did this slowly, hoping that the one lady would get back to me. 

As time passed, I became more and more bummed. I knew she hadn't  called my references yet, and so I assumed that she wrote me off. I thought that maybe she met someone she liked better. Last Thursday, I received a  call from her asking me if it was okay to call my references yet (she thought I had asked her not to call my references for a little while), I told her that was fine. A couple days later I had heard from Kate that she had talked to her. I then heard from another reference that she had tried to call, but had missed her. 

Tuesday I received a call from the lady who had interviewed me, and she told me that of all the people she had interviewed, she and her husband liked me the best, and she asked me if I would be their nanny. 

Two days later I still feel as though I'm processing this. I don't deserve any of this. I'm a sinner just like everyone else. How come I haven't struggled much trying to find a good paying job (good paying for a college student, that is), while others are out there still looking for work? I mess up. I'm rude. I gossip. I am proud. I have my own struggles, and I know I'm no better than any one else. 

I don't deserve this, but God is good indeed.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

My Life in Pictures

I was looking through the pictures on my phone, and I realized I had some pretty funny pictures. Sorry about the bad quality photos, these were taken with my phone. 

Watching cookies bake. They boys just pulled their chairs up, and asked me to turn the oven light on. 

Walking to pick up Caden from school. Look at the boys in the back :) 

I don't know how to turn pictures around, but I thought this picture was hilarious. We made a fantastic tent that day. 

Shopping until we drop

I let Maxwell make his own sandwich... it actually made more work for me.

Asher got some vaseline in his hair, and the thought of going upstairs to give him a bath was too tiring. 

Poor baby was so tired as we went grocery shopping. 

Maxwell likes to hide from the camera

Asher peeking in to the neighbor's yard, he heard the dogs. 

Caiden and Grady being silly at Chipotle

The boys I live with decided it would be fun to unroll, an entire pack of tp, and an entire pack of paper towels,. This was everywhere! 

Asher got some more gunk in his hair

Poor little boy fell off his chair and bumped his head.

Madilyn and Caiden at cosago. AKA Costco

Date to see the Hunger Games

I asked Max what Asher was doing, and he said, "He's asleep on the stairs" Indeed he was, Max, indeed he was. 

Sweet boy found my sunglasses

Asher found his dad's flip flops and put them on

Asher fell asleep in the stroller, and so I left him in the garage so he could catch some zzz's

Asher with more gunk in his hair, and a knife in his hand. I was watching him closely, and it was just a butter knife.

Maxwell ready to pop at the park

Asher accessorizing 

I came upstairs the other morning and found Grady fast asleep. 

Just shopping away. Maxwell wanted to get out, but we had to wait until checking out to get him out. 

Mads found a packet of hot chocolate, poured it all over the floor, and in her face. 

Midweek Confessions

Another week. Another Wednesday. Happy Day!

I'm linking up with emyselfandi once again.

I'm actually really glad that it's Wednesday! :)

- I love every other Wednesday, because that's when the housekeeper comes. I do have to be more on the ball, and make sure things are somewhat picked up, and I have to try to get the boys out of the house. But, oh... coming home is so sweet. I am such a spoiled nanny. Really. I love that I have to focus less on cleaning, and I can focus more on the boys. It also helps for me to get a head start on certain projects... like doing loads of laundry.

- One reason I'm glad it's Wednesday is that David is finally having surgery today. This means that his bone won't tear through his skin. Hopefully. And then he can really start healing.

- I'm so proud of myself. This morning I went grocery shopping with the boys, and we were home within an hour, and a trunk full of groceries. I impressed myself.

- I was so disappointed the other day when I had folded a couple loads of laundry, and then realized that some of the clothes were dirty. I was sure that some of them were clean too, but I didn't know which ones were clean and which ones were dirty. So, I had to throw everything back into the washer, and I'm still trying to finish these clothes today.

- Monday was a very rainy day, and we treated it as such. We drank hot chocolate, made cookies, read books, and cuddled under blankets. Have I ever mention I really like my job?

- Most mornings this week I've been dying to take a nap. Even if it's 10 or 11 in the morning... sometimes even at 9 am.

- I feel like all I ever do is feed the boys. This morning before going to the store, I gave them a snack. Think 9 am snack. So, they had recently had breakfast maybe two hours before. Then I got the boys a fruit smoothie at the store After returning from the store I gave the boys strawberries and yogurt. 30 minutes later I gave them cheese tortillas. They have begged me for food each time. Does anyone else feel this way?

Happy Wednesday!

Le Carnival

I feel like I haven't posted pictures in awhile. Here's some from the carnival that we went to a couple weekends ago. It was so fun to get out and enjoy time with friends. Although, staying up until 4 am is killer. 

Pamela and Curtis. Pamela is pregnant, and she took about half of these pictures while we went on rides. We did sneak her into a few rides though. 

Our first double date

This picture makes me laugh. You can see David and I in the background 

Somehow Pamela got us all looking at the camera. 

We snuck Pamela on to the ferris wheel. 

I laugh out loud every time I see this photo. So funny. 

Good times, indeed. 

God is All Powerful

I'm tired. Ever since I started actively looking for a job, I haven't been sleeping well at all. I don't usually tend to worry too much, since there's no point in worrying, but I've had a hard time not worrying about a job.
Therefore, with David's accident, I have slept even less. I wake up multiple times a night, and I wake up early in the morning, after going to bed late. 
I'm not trying to complain. It really is just the facts of life. I am amazed though at how little one can sleep, and still function and be kind to others. It is much more of a fight though. It can be hard to remember to treat people kindly when you're tired. 
After a little reminder from a blog I follow, I realized why this has all been a struggle. I realized that it's because I feel as though I have no control over my life. After reading 2 Chronicles 20, I decided that I'm okay with that, at least I want to be okay with that. 


At this time in 2 Chronicles 20, the king of Judah was Jehoshaphat, and he was warned that a vast army was coming against him. Jehoshaphat then says, ""Lord, the God of our ancestors, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you.7 Our God, did you not drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend?8 They have lived in it and have built in it a sanctuary for your Name, saying,9 'If calamity comes upon us, whether the sword of judgment, or plague or famine, we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.'"


Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you. 


That just seems so comforting to me. 


Further on it says, "This is what the Lord says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's." 


Although this is talking about an actual army, and a real battle, I feel like we fight battles every day. Some may be major battles, and others may be tiny battles. The thing is, we have an almighty, powerful God who will fight right along with us. 


Needless to say, this doesn't mean I will stop worrying, and that I will stop feeling as though everything is out of control, but I am comforted at the thought of God fighting my battles. I know that God will win. I also know that most of the time things will not go the way that *I* want them to, but most of the time, the things that *I* want aren't always the best for me. 


About two weeks ago, I asked David what adjectives he thought of when he thought of God. The first one he said was that he thought of God as all powerful. I could not agree more. 


Happy Tuesday to you :) 

Accidents

It's been a long weekend. One that I will be content to end. I did finish school. HOORAY!
Sadly, my "happy weekend" was much different than I expected. Yesterday afternoon, I climbed out of the shower after a long morning with the boys I watch at their soccer games. After drying off and getting dressed, I checked my phone. I had a message from my boyfriend, David, saying he had been in an accident, and was one his way to the hospital. I promptly called his mom, asked what happened and headed to the hospital.

David had been riding his motorcycle, slid on gravel, flipped over the median into oncoming traffic. He made it back to the median, noticed his shoe back in the middle of the road, ran and grabbed it, and then collapsed on the median again. His neighbor who worked right there, saw everything that had happened and called 911. The firemen and police showed up, and tried to take care of some of the injuries. David turned down transportation, and someone called his mom. His mom picked him up, and took him to the hospital.

I showed up as they were waiting in the waiting room. David got some x-rays, was then given a room, and they started to try to clean out his wounds - that was probably the worst part for me to watch. It looked PAINFUL. About five hours later, they let him leave. He has a broken collar bone, and horrible road burn down his left side. He'll call the orthopedic surgeon tomorrow and set up a time for surgery on his collar bone.

I feel like this is just another example of how good God is. If things had been slightly different, then all of this could be much worse.

Thankfully he still had his humor. He wanted me to take this photo and upload it to facebook saying, "I had a little accident in my underwear... ha" I think it helped all the tension. 

This was my first impression of him, and right before this he had said, "you really should have brought your camera." Do you like his little collar bone sticking up??

Some lovely road burn. 

To be honest, I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling helpless, and I'm tired of hearing him say no when I ask him if there is anything I can do to help. It's draining. I'm tired of telling the story of what happened to everyone who asks. Even this morning, I went to 7-11 before church to get some coffee, and the lady who works there every Sunday recognizes us since David and I go almost every Sunday. We like her, and she seems to like us. When I went up alone to buy my coffee, she asked where David was, which then made me explain why he wasn't with me. I got various similar questions at church. They even asked me to announce it at church, so that everyone could pray for him. I'm not even sure why I'm writing this. I know in the future I'll be glad, it will show me how incredibly good God is.

Truthfully, I really want things to go back to normal, but I know that won't be for awhile... probably about six weeks.

I know that time will heal these wounds. Time will heal the harsher memories as well. I woke up in the middle of the night last night from a nightmare I had about the accident. I don't remember it at all. I just know it's what caused me to wake up. I know that he's been startled awake a few times from memories of the accident.

All in all he's alive, and recovering.

Thanks for all the prayers.

Job Hunting

This is something I had written last year at almost the same time. I had found out that Kate didn't need me much over the summer, so I started job hunting. I feel like it still relates with me now.

Do you know what I dislike most about job hunting?


It's the decisions that need to be made.


I don't mind the interviews, because really, who doesn't like me? ;) Now, on a more serious note, I don't mind interviews, because I KNOW I have the skills needed for the job. I also know that if they reject me, it's not about me, it's about the fact that we either didn't click, or that I don't have the experience they want... although this time around it's probably just because we don't click. Or, they don't hire me for another legit reason.


The only interview that has ever scared me was my first one that I had at Wendy's. I was so nervous that I was physically shaking. My (soon to be) manager even noticed me shaking. ha. ha. I still got the job... so it's all good :)


Last year when I had three or four interviews, none of them made me nervous, and I learned quite a bit from that. I was "rejected" by the first 3 people who interviewed me, but they all gave me really good reasons. (except for one, but I'm glad I didn't get that job). The last interview I had was with the family that I nanny for now. I'm pretty sure God just wanted me to trust in him for awhile.


I never finished it, and it's been in my drafts, but I can tell that I definitely don't like having to make the decisions. For example, I had an interview with a family that I really hope to work for, but unfortunately they are interviewing someone else next week and will get back to me AFTER that. I can't decide if I should put in a ton of effort and find some more possibilities, or if I should wait and see what happens. Also, what if someone else offers me a job and I want to wait and see what the other family tells me, what do I do then? Anyway, that's pretty much how it would have ended if I had finished it in the first place ;)

D.O.N.E

This is the first time I've had quiet all week. Well, at least quiet that didn't involve me doing homework. Normally I prefer to be surrounded by people and laughter. Actually, normally I struggle with being alone. I think I had enough alone time last year to last me a life time. Right now though, I'm embracing the quiet. Right now I'm embracing the sound of cars humming by my open window, and I'm enjoying the perfect weather that is right outside my window. 

I left work almost every day this week feeling overstimulated, and my ears felt as though they were ringing from so much noise. After such a crazy week, it feels so good to sit, and just be still. It feels good to listen to no other noise, but the sounds from outside. 

Today marks a milestone. It's not vey big in my book, but it's something. I finally finished my associate of arts early childhood education degree, and my director's certificate. I say finally because it feels like it has been forever. I started taking my first college class when I was 14. I took English Comp I. From there I just added more and more classes each semester. I graduated from high school with 60+ college credits, and only had about 7 more classes to take to finish up my degree and certificate. It feels like it's been a long time that I have been working on this degree (although I didn't actually decide on it until I was in my second semester of my junior year). 

To be honest, I was so ready to be done. 

I'm excited to start at the University of Colorado in the Fall. I'm excited to take different classes about communication (not that I didn't really enjoy my ECE classes, I did. It will just be a good change). I'm excited to meet new people and see new things.

I do believe that this next semester will be a good one, but I am glad that I don't have to think about it for a few months.

I've thought about my past few years that I've spent at PPCC today, and although I may not exactly miss that place, I know I have been blessed.

I've been blessed to have had the majority of my degree paid for either by my high school, or by financial aid. Actually, I don't think I spent more than a thousand dollars on my degree, and that's not counting the money I get back when I sell my books at the end of the semester. So maybe i've spent about $500 on my degree. If that.

Although I am more than happy to move on from PPCC, I definitely will not regret my time there. I met some great people, I learned a lot, and I had a lot of really amazing teachers. 

God has blessed me. No matter how much I may have worried about PPCC, and whether it was the right decision or not, it worked out. 

And still, God continues to provide. A couple days ago I found out my first year at UCCS is covered through grants. That's $8,500 worth of grants. Actually, that's what I'm receiving from grants, but I think it's more than I even need for my classes! I was completely amazed! 

I'm still job hunting. I've had one interview, and it seriously would be the perfect fit. It's just another part time nanny job to two boys, and it is great hours. The same every day. That means I can fit classes in, and still watch Caden, Maxwell, and Asher. I had been wanting to add on a second job, and this one would fit right into my schedule.  I don't hear back about whether I get the job or not for another week or so. I know that if I don't get the job I will be extremely disappointed, but I know God has a plan. So, if this is the job for me, that will be great :) 

Midweek Confessions.

Hi ya'll. Wednesday is here again and I'm linking up with emyselfandi to do some midweek confessions. You should join and link up! :)

- Right now I feel like I'm living off of caffeine. I know it's cliche to say that it's because of finals this week, but it really is. Friday by midnight I will be DONE though.

- My little sister arrived yesterday, and she's going to be here for the entire summer! Hoooraaay! And she's living less than a mile away from me!

- I really want an iphone. Everybody just needs to stop taunting me.

- The other day I was with Max and Asher, and we were coming in through the garage from outside, and as the garage door  starts opening Asher begins to run. He ducks to get under the garage door that is still opening, but he doesn't duck low enough. The next thing I see is Asher's face slamming into the garage door, and then him flying back and landing on his bum. I looked at him to make sure he was okay, and then I started laughing. It was just the funniest thing to watch. And in my defense he didn't even cry about  it. I asked if he was okay, and he said "otay" and got up.

- I think it's so funny how Asher talks non stop. I changed his diaper today and I said "exactly" and Asher says, "etaty". He will mimic anything I say.

- We were at chick fil a recently, and I was sitting at a small table with the boys, and this lady would NOT stop staring at me. I could not figure out why. She kept turning her head to just watch us while we ate. Maybe there was something on my face. Or maybe she just didn't understand how I could have a five year old. Anyway, she left and I felt much less self conscious.

Happy Wednesday, indeed!