There are so many different things running through my mind. Another change is coming, and I can feel it.
I've been thinking a lot about this past year.... er, 9 months, to be exact. On Tuesday it will be exactly nine months since my family left me, and so much has happened.
I've always been a very dependent person, and although I believe I still am, I do know how to live on my own, and get things done without depending on someone.
There have been many tears, but even more laughs over the year. I've had my good times and I've had my bad times.
I've mourned the death of a good friend, but I've also welcomed many new lives into this beautiful world.
I've lost a few friends, but I have built better and stronger friendships with the ones who still remain, and I've also made new friends.
I've learned that God really wants the best for me, and I've learned that he has a plan. God has a plan just for Christina Shedd... isn't that amazing? isn't that humbling?
I've worked on discovering who I am, and I have come to many different conclusions.
I've discovered new skills that I have, and I have also discovered that I cannot do EVERYTHING.
I will say though, I think my job has taught me the most. Not only is it a great job to have because I can use what my teachers are teaching me, but there are other things that I have learned outside of what my teachers have taught me such as patience, kindness, love, and grace. I have learned that not everyone is perfect. I know I'm not.
When people find out that I am entering Early Childhood Education, and I am hoping to work with kids, it is quite common to hear them say, "Wow! You must be really patient." I know I've heard it more than once. That's not the truth though. Every single day when I go into work, it's something that I struggle with. I've been unfair, and unjust with the boys because I have become impatient. If I don't plan enough time to get out the door to go to the park, or to even just pick up Caden from school, then we're late, and I become frustrated.
Just from this, I have learned so much. I have to remind myself constantly that it takes longer for a child to get his jacket and shoes on than it would take me. They have just learned how to do all this.
Furthermore, there has been more than a few days when I have gone to work while I was not feeling well, while I have been extremely exhausted, or even if I am just having a grumpy day. Therefore, I tend to overreact to even the smallest things.
So, what I have learned through all of this is to just take time. Don't rush. If I can't get everything done that I wanted to, then so be it. Also, I've started practicing loving more, and trying to forget about my frustrations. Instead of becoming frustrated with the little things, I remind myself that they are young, and they still have much to learn. So I kiss them, hug them, or just spend quality time with them. I will snuggle with them, read a book to them, or have a conversation with them.
I say all this, because I don't want you to think I live in a perfect world while I am at work, because I don't. I know I post pictures of happy faces, but that doesn't mean there aren't tears before or after that.
I'm not perfect, but I am learning. I really look up to mothers. Any kind of mother. Any woman who has had children, and has raised, or begun to raise thier child, is someone I look up to. There's a lot of work needed to be done when a child comes into the world, and unlike myself, they don't get to have a break. At the end of the day, they are the ones who will really be caring for thier children, while I get to go home and sleep through the entire night.
I know, I'm ranting. To sum it up, my job has been such a blessing to me. I have learned so much, and I have been able to love even more. AND... I'm not perfect.
Another thing that I have been thankful for this year is my 365 photography project that I am doing. It gets me to not only learn a new skill, but I am able to capture all of these memories. It also reminds me that there is ALWAYS something to smile about. I cannot remember a time that taking my camera out did not make me feel good. Every time I take my camera out I look through the pictures, and see something beautiful.
It's pushed me to see life in a different way. It's pushed me to see life as so incredibly beautiful. And this happens every day. God has definitely given me a beautiful life.
So, here's another personal post about my life. I've slacked a little due to my photography project, but I have been reminded that this too is something that I enjoy.
I hope that YOU have enjoyed this little personal post.
Happy Friday, everyone!